Second Samuel 13 – 14

2 Samuel 13

The curse for the sin against Uriah came quickly to David’s house with his children knowing of their father’s sins, thinking that they could also take liberties with the Word of God.

Such is the power of a bad example; it causes others to also become lax: While a good example of zeal for the righteousness of the whole Word of God, causes others to see the rightness and goodness of the Word of God.

People like sheep tend to be followers; and our examples speak far louder than words. Children will follow the example they see, rather then keep what is spoken to them; so will the brethren.

Amnon David’s son, lusted after David’s daughter by another mother, Tamer.

2 Samuel 13:1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Amnon allowed himself to lust after that which he could not lawfully have. Jesus tells us that to nurse temptation in our hearts is the root that leads ultimately to the sinful act. As soon as we are tempted, we must reject the temptation right out of our minds immediately, and replace it with something positive to dwell on.

13:2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.

Amnon allowed his cousin Jonadab to entice him into sin. Yet Amnon could have said no and rebuked his cousin. Stay upon the Word of God and reject any enticement to turn aside.

Such enticement to sin is of particular strength if it comes from someone we love or respect. Do not allow a church leader or elder or friend to entice us into any kind of sin; including calling the Sabbath holy and then encouraging us to pollute it.

13:3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. 13:4 And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.

This is no greater evil than what the leaders and elders of the Ekklesia do today, teaching us to commit spiritual adultery against our espoused Husband, Jesus Christ, by following others contrary to any part of the whole Word of God.

13:5 And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

Amnon followed the advice of his friend just like so many brethren today have followed their elders and leaders into the sin of exalting them and their false traditions above the Word of God: which is spiritual adultery.

13:6 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

David then visits his “sick” son and sends for Tamar.

13:7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat. 13:8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.

When the food was ready he caused all to leave them except Tamar herself.

13:9 And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. 13:10 And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

Tamar rejects him and struggles and argues until he forces her. 

This is a good example that are we to struggle against evil and the enticement to sin by exalting men and corporate entities or any other idol above the Word of God and our espoused spiritual Husband.

13:11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.

She tried to convince him to let her go by saying [probably falsely] that the king would assent if he asked their father David first. I do not believe this for a second and I think Amnon did not believe it either. This was a mere desperate argument to try to restrain Amnon, which argument failed.

13:12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. 13:13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. 13:14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

Then Amnon his lust satisfied suddenly had a case of guilt, and instead of accepting the blame for forcing her, he turned against Tamar.

13:15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. 13:16 And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.

I find it strange that Tamar would not run from this man who had so abused her, yet Amnon had to have his servant force her out.

Is it not the same today, that many abused people become loyal to their oppressors?  This “Stockholm Syndrome” drives many in today’s Ekklesia to be faithful to abusive leaders.

People with abusing spouses or parents tend to deal with this in one of two main ways;

1. They blame themselves and try even harder to please their abusers,

2. They fight back and or seek a way out, sometimes by murder, sometimes by flight, sometimes by suicide and sometime by escaping through alcohol or drugs or other addictions.

I imagine it is the same in abusive groups, which is why they often try so hard to put everyone on a guilt trip often blaming everyone for their own failings; this only causes most of the abused to seek all the harder to please their abusers [Stockholm Syndrome].

13:17 Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.

13:18 And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.

Then Tamar went out mourning

13:19 And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.

And so the curse of Christ moved in the house of David, because David’s sins had set an example for his own children to turn them to do the same kinds of evil.

13:20 And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.

David was furious but did little to correct Amnon, and Absalom despised his brother for the rape of his sister and determined to destroy him.

13:21 But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. 13:22 And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Absalom invited all of his brothers and his father to his sheep shearing which would have been hard work followed by a big feast.

13:23 And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 13:24 And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.

David said no for he did not want his whole family to be indebted to Absalom for his feast.

13:25 And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.

Then Absalom managed to cause David to allow Amnon to go.

13:26 Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee? 13:27 But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

Then Absalom commanded his servants to kill Amnon when he was drunk and incapacitated with wine from the sheep shearing feast.

13:28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant. 13:29 And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.

When David heard a rumor that all his sons were dead he began to mourn greatly.

13:30 And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king’s sons, and there is not one of them left. 13:31 Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.

Then the very Jonadab who had enticed Amnon into his sin comforted David saying  that only the wicked son was dead.

13:32 And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 13:33 Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.

Absalom then fled to the north to Talmai the king of Geshur his maternal grandfather..

13:34 But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him.

Jonadab the person responsible for all of this, was busy trying to ingratiate himself to David; office politics at its worst.

13:35 And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king’s sons come: as thy servant said, so it is. 13:36 And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king’s sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore.

David loved Absalom and understood that he had actually done the right thing by killing the sister rapist. David himself should have executed justice and did not.

Because this may seem like dry ancient history to many I would like to ask you to lean back, close your eyes and imagine: How you would feel if your son raped your daughter and then was killed by your other son?

Can you even begin to imagine the agony of spirit that David was going through as he learned his lesson concerning his own sins with Bathsheba and his betrayal of the responsibilities that Jesus Christ had placed on his shoulders by making him king?

We too have been called out to become kings, and we must prove our loyalty to Jesus Christ and the whole Word of God, just like David as king was expected to do.

Our own following of others contrary to the Word of our God, is spiritual adultery. When we turn aside to follow others away from the Husband of our baptismal commitment, we are throwing the crown we were called to, into the dirt; we are despising our calling to learn and to live by every Word of God.

Think about that the next time some elder bids you to break the sanctity of the Sabbath by participating in some catered meal.

When we sin we need to repent just as sincerely and wholeheartedly as David did, and we need to STOP committing the sin, learn our lesson and go forward to live by every Word of God in future.

13:37 But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 13:38 So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.

David had accepted that Amnon was dead, but he missed Absalom knowing that he was still alive.

13:39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he [David knew that if anyone else had raped their sister, then David would have done exactly what Absalom had done] was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.


2 Samuel 14

Joab teaches David by the mouth of a woman

Joab knew that David mourned for Absalom and that what Absalom had done was right in slaying the wicked.

2 Samuel 14:1 Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was toward Absalom. 14:2 And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead: 14:3 And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.

The woman appeals for justice to David with the words of Joab in a parable, like Nathan had spoken in a parable.

14:4 And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king. 14:5 And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. 14:6 And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.

14:7 And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.

The king then tells her to return home while he contemplates his judgment.

14:8 And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee. 14:9 And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father’s house: and the king and his throne be guiltless.

David then tells her to send anyone who bothers her again in the matter, to him.

14:10 And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.

She asks David to remember the law of God, that justice should reign in the land and not vengeance.

14:11 Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.

She then asks if she may speak on, and she begins to speak of Absalom.

14:12 Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on.

She asks David why he wishes vengeance against his beloved Absalom and not justice; because Absalom has only done what was right, to destroy wickedness when the king would not do so.

14:13 And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing [David made his judgment about her story, while he is at fault in his own deeds] as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished [Absalom].

She tells David that all will die in the flesh; but that God desires mercy and not vengeance. She appeals to David to forgive his son Absalom.

14:14 For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, [a way of salvation, that reconciles the repentant to God] that his banished be not [forever] expelled from him.

She then declares that David is righteous and will discern the right thing to do; to forgive his son so that God might be with David.

14:15 Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.

14:16 For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God. 14:17 Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.

David discerns the hand of Joab in this woman.

Joab as chief of staff of David’s armies could not rebuke David due to his position and used the woman to counsel the king of Israel.

14:18 Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak. 14:19 And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid: 14:20 To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.

David is moved to forgive his son and calls Joab to bring Absalom home.

14:21 And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again. 14:22 And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.

Absalom came home but his father still would not see him.

14:23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 14:24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.

Absalom was much loved by the people, but was badly treated by his father David.  At this point the direction this was heading should be clear.

Absalom who had killed the wicked, was loved and despised at the same time by his father, who could not look upon him for sorrow over what had been done; and by excluding this popular son David offended his son deeply. Absalom felt hated by his father and loved by the people.

Absalom was a strong, virile and good looking man, very impressive to the people; while David the king was growing old.

14:25 But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 14:26 And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.

Absalom named his daughter Tamar after his sister. Oh how they must have been close and loved each other and their father David. What a terrible tragedy has befallen the family of David because of his sin of adultery with Bathsheba against Uriah. The Greek tragedies have nothing on this terrible tragedy of the family of David.

14:27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance. 14:28 So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face.

Absalom sends for Joab to ask to be invited to see his father David, but Joab will not come to him.

14:29 Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.

Absalom was desperate to see his father David and reconcile with him, so desperate that he risked conflict with Joab to get his attention.

14:30 Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

Joab rushes to the house of Absalom to demand why his field had been attacked.

14:31 Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire?

Absalom demands that Joab bring him to his father, David the king.

14:32 And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.

A temporary reconciliation is made, but the emotional pain remains because David loved the wicked dead more than the righteous son.

Absalom, feeling rejected by his father for doing the right thing by his sister and thrusting wickedness out of the royal family and the nation; began to consider himself more worthy to rule than his father, who had refused to deal with the wickedness of Amnon.

14:33 So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.


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